Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Break Through

break through, blended family, blended family break through, step family, stepmom, step mother, step parents
It’s been awhile since I wrote on my blog and I apologize for that, but I took the summer to concentrate on my family. Do you have a difficult relationship with your step kids?  Well, I did on and off for this past eight years. It’s been up and down and at times more down than up.  Then it hit rock bottom in 2013 to the point where my step kids didn’t want to be around me and my children.  And it lasted for three years. Those three years were so difficult for me, I felt like a part of me was missing and more importantly, it felt like our blended family was incomplete. I also had a lot of bitterness and resentment I was holding on to besides a tremendous amount of hurt from my stepdaughter.  Then I decided early this year to forgive her for everything she did and said to me.  Then I decided to reach out to her and send her an email expressing how much I missed her and my stepson in my life and also asked her for forgiveness for any hurt that I have caused. I also brought up all of the fun times we have had that I missed a lot and how I wish we could make a fresh start and repair our relationship and how much I love them both and how I only want the best for both of them.  In a few days she responded back and now it’s been seven months and our relationship is slowly coming around and getting better.  I owe all of this transformation to God, only he made this possible through a lot of prayers this all happened
Just recently my stepdaughter contacted me asking me to go to a Christmas play with her.  This is a first time that she reached out to ask me to spend time with her 1:1.  At this point, it’s been me asking them both to do things with me and my kids.  Her reaching out to me was such a great feeling since she could have asked anyone else to go with her.  She also asked to go to a Halloween event that is coming up with my girls too. We have come long ways. I know I will never get those three years back of everything I missed out on but I’m grateful for where we are at today.
If you are having issues with your step kids, I encourage you to pray and seek God. I also encourage you to be the bigger person and reach out to them first.  After all they are children whom don’t know the right thing to do and sometimes can hold grudges a lot longer than us adults can. If you can’t see them in person, I encourage you to write them a letter/email expressing your feelings and telling them how much you miss and love them. Keep it positive and don’t dwell on the negative things that happened to make you distant from them. They might have done and said some hurtful things, but you need to let it go of it and try to make a fresh start.  Try to remind them of all of the good times you have had with them and how you miss them being a part of your life.  You might not get an apology for all of the hurt they put you through and you have to learn to be okay with that. It was not easy for me to accept the fact that they might not apologize for the hurtful things they did and said.  The best thing is to let it all go and make a fresh start. Don’t give up on them it can and will work if you make the first move and pray and have faith and believe for your break through
I could have given up on them and said it’s hopeless, they will never have a relationship with me, but I chose to not give up, I chose to die to self and rise above all of the hurt they have caused.
Life is short, don’t spend it holding onto bitterness, hurt, resentment and unforgiveness in your heart towards your step kids, make amends and get your fresh start, your break through is right around the corner. Don’t ever give up on the relationship with them, you can be a complete blended family again, but it all starts with you.

20 comments:

  1. Love this strength quote, I know someone who is struggling right now and will share it with them. Great post!

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  2. First, I have to say that your family is just beautiful! I can relate to your struggles, even with my "home grown" girls (all teens now). I appreciate your devotion to your family and the way you bring Christianity into it. There is power in prayer. Blessings to you and your family!

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  3. I'm so glad thing are going well with your step daughter. Hats off to you for taking the initial step to work this out! Hope things continue to go well.

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  4. Yes, I agree with your life is short comment. I try to never hold onto bitterness because of it. I'm glad things are going better.

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  5. Sometimes a break is needed to regain mental strength and clarity. Thank you for rsharing encouragement and hope with us. It certainly helped me, too. God bless :)

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  6. I'm glad things are working better for you and your stepdaughter. I'm sure it was super-hard to forgive, but good for you!

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  7. A break is needed sometimes for more important people in your life. I am glad everything worked out.

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  8. I'm glad everything worked out. I love the strength quote. It's so true.

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  9. This is so touching! That's why you've been out of the radar for the summer, I missed your posts because they're moving and good to read. I'm glad things are going great for you and your step kids! There's nothing that God can't do.

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  10. I'm so proud of you! Forgiveness is so hard. I think you will be surprised how your relationship will bloom.

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  11. This is a really touching story. It does all start with us! I'm so happy you reached out to her and you're happy once again.

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  12. Thanks for the tips you gave. This can be helpful for me. Appreciated!

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  13. Tips are great, I have learned my strength through all of this. Been rough.

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  14. Oh, this is so inspiring. I love your tips, they are really motivating to me.

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  15. I am a stepmom too so I know that it can be really difficult sometimes. I am glad you seem to have gotten through the worst time! Here's to a happy future! -Erin at www.stayathomeyogi.com

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  16. I couldn't even begin to imagine how hard this must be. Thanks for sharing.

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  17. forgive at the end of the day, do not hold grudges, be ready to meet your maker and keep smiling a few of the philosophies I live by.
    come see us at http://shopannies.blogspot.com

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  18. Step moms and dads are amazing, they share the love that they have for the kids even if those kids don't share the same blood. I think you're doing a great job reaching out. They'll soon realize how important you are in their lives.

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  19. I think it is great to have some time for your family and so glad that things are going better with your step daughter now. Such an inspiring story of how you have turned things around by taking a step forward!

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  20. I really enjoyed this... thank you so much for sharing. I glad that things are better with you and your step daughter. I hope it continues that way.

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