Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Bad emails from The Ex-Wife

bad emails from the ex-wife
Everyone hates it when they receive a dreadful email from the ex-wife telling you what she thinks of you or how your parenting skills suck or just how she feels about you.  Or an email about something she disapproves of that happened this past weekend at your house.  Every Father and Stepmom get all worked up after they get an email like that. Your first reaction is to hit the reply button and tell her what you think of her parenting choices or how you feel about her.  Well, then this blog post is for you. 
After you are done reading an email that is really awful from the ex-wife, follow these six guidelines on how to handle the bad and awful email instead of what you normally do.

1. Wait to read the email at home instead, so it doesn’t affect your job.
2. Walk away from the email. Get your mind on something else.
3. Don’t reply until 8 hours later or the next day if possible.
4. Don’t reply at all.
5. Save the email print it out for your records for court.
6. Respond only to any question she may have asked that relates to the well-being of the children.

not responding is also a good response

Keep in mind when you do respond it’s a domino effect. Meaning it will fuel the fire to keep on and going and going. Email wars are never any good for anyone.  If you decide not to respond at all she may call or text you asking you if you got her email. You can simply say “I don’t think a response was necessary” and just leave it at that.
When you do respond make sure it’s when you have cooled down and make sure your reply email follows these 3 guidelines:

Is it Nice?
Is it True?
Is it necessary?

If your reply to the email is not either of these guidelines then don’t respond because she can use it against you in court. Don’t give her leverage to use in court.  Another thing to keep in mind, high conflict ex-spouses will sometimes read the email to the kids to get the kids to hate you.  When dealing with a high-conflict ex-spouse always try to communicate through email or via text messages that way you have a paper trail. It’s hard to prove something someone has said on the phone or in person.  Unless you record it which is illegal in some states, however, some states allow it as evidence and some don’t.  Look into it before doing it.
My husband’s ex-wife would send countless of emails telling him what a bad parent he is but rarely had anything else in the email that was of importance that would warrant a response from him.  Almost every other Monday after a weekend with the step-children, she would send an email about something she wasn’t happy with.  In the beginning, he would get so upset and call me at work reading the email to me. He used to fire back at her with an email and then it would just go back and forth. Until one day I said, let it go, don’t respond at all.  Once he stopped responding to her hateful emails. Our life was a lot better. Any time an email was sent to us we would laugh about it over the phone.  He would only respond if it was really necessary and it was short and to point answers.  Once he started handling the emails like that, she eventually stopped sending them.  I think she finally realized that we weren’t going to let her hateful emails come between us and we weren’t going to stoop to her level of craziness.  Don’t let the ex-spouse affect your happiness with one another.  Whenever you get an email always follow those six guidelines above and you will be less stressed out.  Always kill her with kindness and don’t respond to craziness unless it’s really necessary.  Remember anything you say in your email can be used against you in court.  Save every correspondence you get from the ex-spouse, so you can, in turn, use it against her in court if need be.  Also, build up a case against the ex-spouse, don’t just go to court over one email, collect several damaging emails and then use them in court against them. Please remember only respond to crazy and bad emails when: you can be nice, if it’s true, and if it’s necessary.

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Break Through

break through, blended family, blended family break through, step family, stepmom, step mother, step parents
It’s been awhile since I wrote on my blog and I apologize for that, but I took the summer to concentrate on my family. Do you have a difficult relationship with your step kids?  Well, I did on and off for this past eight years. It’s been up and down and at times more down than up.  Then it hit rock bottom in 2013 to the point where my step kids didn’t want to be around me and my children.  And it lasted for three years. Those three years were so difficult for me, I felt like a part of me was missing and more importantly, it felt like our blended family was incomplete. I also had a lot of bitterness and resentment I was holding on to besides a tremendous amount of hurt from my stepdaughter.  Then I decided early this year to forgive her for everything she did and said to me.  Then I decided to reach out to her and send her an email expressing how much I missed her and my stepson in my life and also asked her for forgiveness for any hurt that I have caused. I also brought up all of the fun times we have had that I missed a lot and how I wish we could make a fresh start and repair our relationship and how much I love them both and how I only want the best for both of them.  In a few days she responded back and now it’s been seven months and our relationship is slowly coming around and getting better.  I owe all of this transformation to God, only he made this possible through a lot of prayers this all happened
Just recently my stepdaughter contacted me asking me to go to a Christmas play with her.  This is a first time that she reached out to ask me to spend time with her 1:1.  At this point, it’s been me asking them both to do things with me and my kids.  Her reaching out to me was such a great feeling since she could have asked anyone else to go with her.  She also asked to go to a Halloween event that is coming up with my girls too. We have come long ways. I know I will never get those three years back of everything I missed out on but I’m grateful for where we are at today.
If you are having issues with your step kids, I encourage you to pray and seek God. I also encourage you to be the bigger person and reach out to them first.  After all they are children whom don’t know the right thing to do and sometimes can hold grudges a lot longer than us adults can. If you can’t see them in person, I encourage you to write them a letter/email expressing your feelings and telling them how much you miss and love them. Keep it positive and don’t dwell on the negative things that happened to make you distant from them. They might have done and said some hurtful things, but you need to let it go of it and try to make a fresh start.  Try to remind them of all of the good times you have had with them and how you miss them being a part of your life.  You might not get an apology for all of the hurt they put you through and you have to learn to be okay with that. It was not easy for me to accept the fact that they might not apologize for the hurtful things they did and said.  The best thing is to let it all go and make a fresh start. Don’t give up on them it can and will work if you make the first move and pray and have faith and believe for your break through
I could have given up on them and said it’s hopeless, they will never have a relationship with me, but I chose to not give up, I chose to die to self and rise above all of the hurt they have caused.
Life is short, don’t spend it holding onto bitterness, hurt, resentment and unforgiveness in your heart towards your step kids, make amends and get your fresh start, your break through is right around the corner. Don’t ever give up on the relationship with them, you can be a complete blended family again, but it all starts with you.

Friday, October 7, 2016

Cedar Point - Fun for the whole Family

If you haven’t gone to Cedar Point during Hallo Weekends you are definitely missing out on a lot of fun for all of your family. Hallo Weekends run between September 16th through October 30th.  I took my family recently and it was so much fun. The lines for the rides were short and it got even more entertaining when the sun went down.  There are fourteen haunt attractions and twenty-one great pumpkin fest attractions in the whole park. There are pathways in the park that had people dressed in costumes ready to scare you.  If you have small children that don’t want to be scared you can buy a “No Boo” light up the necklace for just $8.00 that will keep the scary characters away.  They can even go into the haunted attractions with the necklace on and will be bothered by the characters. 
The whole park is decorated so nicely and festive for Halloween. There are so many photo opportunities.

They have over a thousand pumpkins decorated or designed in a way that’s really festive.  They have tombstones everywhere throughout the park.  You can even bring your kids dressed up in costume and they have designated attractions that give out candy to them.
I do want to give you a heads up on something though when you are there don’t buy the souvenir cups to drink out of because you will have to buy a locker to store it because all of the rides will not let you use the storage bins to put the cups in. The rate for the lockers is $4.00 for 4 hours.
The newest roller coaster, Valravn was a great ride; I definitely recommend riding in the very front of this coaster to really get the effect of the first drop.  It’s the best seat on that roller coaster.
The first night we were there, they had a funeral procession for the Mean Streak roller coaster because they shut it down.  I am actually pretty happy about that, it was the worst roller coaster ride in the whole park.

My top five favorite roller coasters at Cedar Point are:
1. Valravn
2. GateKeeper
3. Millennium Force
4. Maverick
5. Raptor 

My top five scary attractions are:
1. Eternity Infirmary
2. Blood on the Bayou
3. Screamworks
4. Slaughter House
5. Erie Estates.

The only haunted attractions I didn’t get to go see was the Eden House and the Zombie High School. Hopefully next year, I will be able to go back and experience those two haunted attractions.

A fun attraction the all of my kids loved was the Linus Mummy Pit which was bubbles or foam that they got to play with that were shooting out of two machines. They loved it, but I have to warn you, they will get a little wet if they put bubbles all over them. They did have towels there to help dry you off after playing with the bubbles.

An awesome show to watch while you are there are the “Blood Drums”.  They had these zombies that would come out and do trapeze stunts which were awesome to watch while the drummer played his drums from high above.
They also have wristbands you can buy to for all day drinks and food which I think is definitely well worth the price.  For the food wristband, you can eat every 90 minutes at many food places. The drink plan is nice because you don’t have to carry a souvenir and rent a locker to store it. 
All in all, it was a great time for the whole family and less wait time for rides. Definitely, plan a trip to Cedar Point, you don't want to miss out on all of the fun you and your family can have. To learn more about Cedar Point Amusement Park, click here.