Thursday, May 5, 2016

Should you buy a gift for The Ex-Wife for Mother's Day?

buy gift for the ex-wife, mothers day, mothers day gift for the ex, blended family, step family
Should we recognize the BM (Biological Mother) and buy a gift for her from the stepchildren for Mother’s Day?  The answer might surprise you. The answer is YES, you should.  If the biological Mother is single and doesn’t have a significant other or husband to do it, then you most definitely should buy a gift for her from the kids.  If she does have a significant other or husband in her life, ask the stepchildren if that person is going to take them out to get their Mother a gift for Mother’s Day.  If they say he isn’t, then you need to do it for them. They should be recognized regardless of how they treat you.  It’s not about you; it’s about the stepchildren showing their love and appreciation towards their Mother on Mother’s Day. It’s teaching the step children that they should always honor their Mother on special holidays such as Mother’s Day.  The gift might have been bought by you and your husband but it’s from her children, not from you.  It’s the thought that counts and it is stepping outside of your thoughts, feelings and comfort level towards her and being the bigger person.  If she throws the gift away, she’s only hurting her children and then shame on her.  But not shame on you.  So take the stepchildren out this weekend and have them pick something out for their Mother and have them pick out a card for her.  You don’t have to spend hundreds of dollars on her, just spend anywhere between $25.00 to $40.00 on the gift.  If the stepchildren are older they may have money of their own that they want to spend but have no way of getting to the store to get the gift for their Mother.  Once they get old enough and can drive a car, they can get the gift, but may need to be reminded to do so.  I think it’s even more special when a Stepmom takes the initiative and takes the stepchildren out to get the gift, it really shows the stepchildren that you are okay with them loving on their Mother and recognizing them.  But, if you just can’t get past everything she’s done and just don’t want to do it at all, and then have your husband take the stepchildren out to get it. No Mother should go unrecognized on Mother’s Day.  Every Mother should feel loved and appreciated for being a Mother by their children.  Regardless of how she treats you and your husband, regardless of how difficult she is, regardless of how active she is in your stepchildren’s lives.  If money is tight then have the stepchildren make her a homemade card and have them make a craft or you can even help them bake a cake for her and have them decorate it.  Don’t let your ego or your hurt feelings get in the way, this is her day just as much as it is your day. I know for me personally, my ex-husband doesn’t take my kids out to buy me a gift for Mother’s Day. But my husband does it, so it doesn’t bother me that my ex-husband doesn’t do it.  I am sure if I was single, he would do it for me.
Try to honor all types of Mothers this Mother’s Day regardless of how close you are to them, if they are a Mother they should be honored and appreciated.

10 comments:

  1. I agree with this. $25-40 is a good range for any holiday, too - I usually give my mom a $25 gift card but this year I have some Hallmark goodies that I got to review. :)

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  2. I wholeheartedly agree with you on this. It shows that you respect the stepkids and the special relationship they have with their mother. That reminds me that I have to go pick up my mom's Mother's Day gift tomorrow!

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  3. Totally Agreed... All mothers are important.. foster.. Biological.. step,... aunties.. and grandsmothers

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  4. You are right..all mothers are important. It's about the kids showing love for their mother.

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  5. I always get a crafty project to do with the kids for mom and grandmothers. This year were making stepping stones and candles. We enjoy doing it but (even though their mom is not a nice person and they don't want to make things for her) we are told to honor our father and mother. This teaches the kids to do that and to show love to her as Jesus loved us. Thanks for posting!

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  6. I think it the kids are younger you could help make a craft for mom instead. You're so sweet!

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  7. You know, I think you should orgainised something for the kids to get her. Despite not being together, every mom want's to feel special on Mother's day. What a wonderful gesture.

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  8. You're so sweet! I agree! All moms are important too, we just wanted to appreciate allt he times.

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  9. My older 3 kids have 2 that they call stepmom. My ex husband has remarried twice after our divorce and we always include both of them. I do not however bother with my current husbands ex, that side is totally dysfunctional.

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  10. I think buying a gift for your stepkids bio mom for mother's day is an amazing gesture. I am a stepmom (have been for five years now) and want to always encourage my stepkids relationship with their mother. I appreciate her, because she does a great job raising them and I'm lucky to have such wonderful "bonus" kids. I also am very touched when my stepkids give me a card on mother's day even though I am not their "real" mother. <3 Great post! -Erin at www.stayathomeyogi.com

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