Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Depression Hurts

depression hurts, depression, stepmoms, stepmom advice, blended family, step family
Depression hurts and it affects everything and everyone in your life.  Sometimes it is hard to see it in yourself, but easy to see in others.  It can even make your spouse depressed if the other spouse is suffering from it. It feels like you’re in this long dark tunnel where it feels like there’s no way out.  There’s always two ways through a tunnel, just like there was a way into the tunnel, there’s a way out of the tunnel. Sometimes you can go straight through it and other times you can’t get to the other end of the tunnel without help.
My husband is suffering from it and has been for the last three years and it’s been very hard on me.  He refuses to do anything about it.  His depression is affecting everything he does.  He takes a lot of naps, has less energy to do the activities that he enjoys, and he has no desire to do much.  When I have talked to him about his depression he gets easily upset with me.  It’s affecting our marriage and it’s been a roller coaster ride for the most part because of his depression.  It’s so hard to write this because it brings me to tears because I want him to get the help that way he can get better and be the man I fell in love with again.  If your spouse or loved one or worse yet child are suffering from it, try to get help for them as soon as you can because depression can only get worse without seeking help for it.

How do you know a loved one has it? Here are the warning signs to look for:

10 Common Warning Signs of Depression
  1. Appetite or weight changes. Significant weight gain or loss.
  2. Sleep changes. Either insomnia of not being able to sleep, waking up in the early hours of the morning or oversleeping. Taking to many naps throughout the day.
  3. Feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. A negative outlook on things—feeling as if nothing will get better and feeling like there is nothing you can do to improve your situation.
  4. Loss of interest in daily activities. No interest in regular hobbies, social activities, past times or sex. You’ve lost your ability to feel pleasure and joy.
  5. Self-loathing. Strong feelings of guilt or worthlessness or both at the same time. You criticize yourself often for perceived faults, mistakes, and many other things.
  6. Anger or irritability. Feeling restless, agitated, or may even become violent. Your temper is short, tolerance level is low, and everything and everyone gets on your nerves often than not.
  7. Unexplained aches and pains. An increase of physical complaints such as headaches, aching muscles, back pain, and stomach pain.
  8. Loss of energy. Feeling sluggish a lot, fatigued, and physically drained. Your body will feel heavy, and tasks are exhausting and take longer to complete.
  9. Concentration problems. Hard time making decisions, trouble focusing or having a hard time remembering things that you need to do or get done.
  10. Reckless behavior. You engage consuming more alcohol or substance abuse or other types of behavior such as reckless driving, compulsive gambling, or dangerous sports.

If you see your loved one going through some of these warning signs, talk to them about it and tell them you are here for them and would like to get help for them.  There are many ways to help get rid of depression and overcome it.  Please look into some of these ways below:

4 Ways of How to Get Rid of Depression

  1. Seek Help from a Doctor, Therapist or Counselor
  2. Antidepressant Medications
  3. Herbal Supplements or Home Remedies
  4. Make Healthy Life Style Changes – such as exercising, get at least 8 hours of sleep a night, reducing stress, eating healthy, cultivate healthy friendships that are positive, and practicing relaxation techniques.
Did you know that there are many different types of depression that are out there? There is Seasonal Depression which is known as seasonal affective disorder (SAD), Major Depression, Postpartum Depression, Dysthymia (mild depression) and Manic Depression.  It’s best to seek a doctor to find out which type of depression you are suffering from in order to find out how it can be treated. Don’t let a loved one suffer alone because depression doesn’t just hurt your loved one, it affects and hurts others around them. Depression can get better, as long as it is treated, but it can take a while to get better. 

In the winter time, I sometimes get Seasonal Depression because of all of the gray days we get here in Michigan. I always recognize it and seek help with it right away. Being healthy to me is the most important thing since I don’t want those around me to be affected by it.
Some of the warning signs I posted above doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to have all of them to be considered depressed, you could just have a few of them and still be depressed.  Depression affects everyone differently and you can experience it differently than other people too. 
Sometimes us Stepmoms get depressed for a lot of reasons it could be because we feel like we don’t fit in with our stepchildren or just that we are having issues with our husbands and how they handle the stepchildren when they are visiting.  Being part of a blended or step family is much harder than being in a regular family where both parents are biological.  So often times we keep our feelings inside and then it starts to fester and build up which often leads to depression.  Talking to someone you can trust will really help relieve how you are feeling inside.  Depression is a very emotional illness that can really take over your life if you don’t get help for it.  Us Stepmoms shouldn’t just tolerate all of these feelings we keep inside anymore there is help available and all we have to do is seek it and want to get better.  Once depression is gone you will feel a huge weight off of your chest and feel good about yourself and you’ll even notice your health improve.  Depression hurts but you can overcome it, there’s light at the end of the tunnel you are in.  You just need to take the first step and do something about it.  Your loved ones will thank you for it.  Enjoy your life because we never know how long we have in this world so enjoy your life to the fullest and Don’t Let Depression Win!


  1. i've been there - and i'm happy to say that there IS a way out of it! In my case, i'm doing it with lifestyle changes... :)

  2. It is surprising how many people suffer from depression but don't realize what it is despite so much written about it. Glad you have brought it up.

  3. Depression is hard and many do not want to get the help that they need. You share some amazing resources here . I truly appreciate it!

  4. There is help out there. Having depression doesn't mean a person is weak, so anyone suffering or think that they are suffering should always seek help. Great article! :)

  5. Thank you for the list, good to know the signs.

  6. I really appreciate the information you have provided. I think it's really important to talk about it and bring more awareness to such a common illness. It may just be my personal experience but it seems the men I have known who suffer with depression have a much harder time accepting and seeking help. To the extent that I have lost several friends to suicide as a result of untreated depression. If you think someone you know is suffering from untreated depression, I would encourage you to speak up. It could save their life.

  7. This is great information. Thank you for sharing so those who do have depression can get help.

  8. Depression can be really hard, especially when you're in the middle of it. I know when I experienced post partum depression, it didn't seem like there was a way out. I sometimes wondered if I wasn't depressed, maybe I was just defective, and it was just the way I was supposed to be. The best thing you can offer somebody with depression is unconditional love, and support (obviously the support can have some conditions ;) ).

  9. It is totally debilitating if you let it. I hope he gets some help soon so he doesn't have to feel that way.

  10. Depression is a struggle for so many. Hope your husband finds his way through the tunnel soon.

  11. A lot of people struggle from depression. I hope your husband gets the help he needs and I hope things get better for you and your family.

  12. I think I will be needing your tips. I don;'t know if I am suffering from it but those signs you gave, I am actually feeling it :(

  13. I have SAD. I have a light I sit in front of along with taking medication. I love you and I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. There is light at the end of the tunnel!

  14. I have experienced depression. I tend to get a bit SAD every winter too. I have found that lifestyle changes really help me.

  15. This is good information and reassurance for everyone. I think all of us have times of sadness, frustration, and darkness, but to recognize the signs of a serious depression is important.

  16. There is still so much stigma attached to depression. There needs to be more help and support available for anyone needing treatment.

  17. Very deep post and informative at the same time.

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  19. I know what it's like to have a loved one who is depressed. Prayers are sometimes all we can offer when they won't do anything else. Well, maybe a little essential oil filtered into the air too! ;)