Wednesday, January 6, 2016

11 Things to let go, let God work in me

let go let god, stepmom stepmom advice, blended family, step family, step mothers
There are things in my life that I need to focus on getting rid of in order to become the “New Me”. So in continuation of my last post about becoming a “New You” I have created a list of what I want to let go to become the new me. I hope these things inspire you with your “New You” for this New Year.

That everything doesn’t have to be PERFECT
. I am a perfectionist, there I said it. Everything has to be in its place else I just can’t relax.  For example: No dishes in the sink at the end of the night. That is just one example of many that gets to me.  Trying to learn to ease up on the reigns on some things around the house so I can relax more.  Yes, I am a little OCD and ADHD, so what! LOL

Letting go of CONTROL
– and be happy about it. One way we can stay happy is by not making a big deal out of little things that we should learn to let go of.  I also need to learn that there are some things that I cannot control and that are out of my control. I need to learn how to be okay with that. We also need to learn we can’t control how someone treats us but we can control how we will react to it.  Don’t let others steal or rob you from your happiness or joy.  Take a deep breath and just let it go and pray for those who don’t like you.  For example: My husband’s ex-wife absolutely hates me from day one and has never given me a chance, did I do anything to cause this, No, not really other than marrying her ex-husband.  Another example of letting go of control is I can’t do anything about my husband not being able to fight more for his kids. My husband is pretty passive and rarely argues with his ex-wife or stands up for him or us against her.  I need to learn to accept him and love him for who he is and not try to control or change him. Ultimately, we need to be ok with the things we can’t control in our lives and pray hard about those things whether it be about a person, a situation or a job.  Don’t let it eat away at you anymore and cause health issues.  God will make a way even though it looks like there is no way if we just trust in him. He will give us strength for every battle we face and wisdom for every decision we make and give us a peace that surpasses all understanding. He will pay us back for any unfair situations that have come our way. He will bring our dreams to pass and also give us the secret desires of our hearts if we just pray and trust in him and let go of control.

The Guilty feeling
– of not being the best Mom I can be.  It eats me inside that I am not the best mom to my kids.  Even though I work from home, I still feel like I don’t spend enough quality time with my kids.  I am a licensed daycare provider and I spend all of my day with six kids under five years old, Monday through Friday.  So when my day is over, I feel exhausted and just want some time to myself and away from kids.  Which isn’t good to feel this way but I just have those days where I feel that way.  As I type this post and admit to this, the guilt sets in again. I just feel like I don’t get quality time with my youngest two girls. I need to get over this feeling and try to do more with my girls even when I do feel spent and exhausted.  My girls are growing up fast, they are ten and twelve years old, I need to spend more time with them and enjoy these years before they become teenagers and then it’s a whole new journey.  I will declare that I will overcome this guilty feeling, the obstacles I face, and be full of power, strength and determination. Nothing I face will be too much for me to handle, I will outlast my challenges that I face as a mother and come through every difficulty better than I did before.

Putting less of my life on Social Media
. Now this one is a tough one for me because I like to share what’s going on in my life.  Also because I don’t have a lot of adult interaction during the day time, so in a way Facebook is like my co-worker.  I need to cut back and even try to go one weekend without being on it and just enjoy my family and friends more.  Try to let it be a mystery of what is going on in my life that way more people pick up the phone and call me to see how I am doing rather than reading it all on social media.

Stop saying NO
- say YES more. There is so many times where my girls ask to do something and I say no or maybe, which by the way maybe means no, I don’t want to do it!  Try to say yes more to my girls and do more things with them.  I have a lot of anxiety just when they spend the night at a friend’s house because of today’s times.  I really have to know the family first and ask questions like do they have guns in their house, where are they sleeping when they spend the night, etc.  Just because you never know about people these days, I am more untrusting than trusting.  You can say I am a pretty protective parent who also has parental controls on every electronic device they have just to make sure their eyes are protected from all of the garbage that is on the internet. I don’t want my girls’ innocence to be taken away too fast and too soon. My girls don’t even have cell phones yet; I don’t think they need one until they get to High School.

Less Busy Life Schedule
. Sometimes my life just gets so busy that I don’t spend time with other people that matter a lot too.  I need to spend time with my parents and in-laws to create more memories with my girls before they aren’t around anymore.  I don’t want to have any regrets but want to have many memories with them and with my girls.  Life is just too short and you never know when a loved one can be gone.

. I am going to be more positive this year and expect great things to happen. For example: Instead of saying she will never change towards us, say she will change towards us and accept me for who I am.  I will declare that I will experience God’s faithfulness; I will not worry or doubt it. I will keep my trust in Him, knowing that he will not fail me. I will give birth to every promise God puts on my heart and I will become everything God created me to be. Just because I might not see anything happening doesn’t mean God is not working on my behalf. No matter how old we get we can still become everything God created us to be.  Try to look at setbacks in life differently by thinking it means we are all one step closer to seeing our dreams or our destiny come to pass.

Putting myself LAST
. I’m always putting the needs of my kids and husband first before myself. I am going to try my best to take care of my needs more and take care of myself better. Starting with my diet and exercising more.  I want to lose 53 lbs. and I really want to do it for me so I feel better and look better.  I started Nutris System this past November. I am already down 12 lbs. so far, I am going to keep doing it until I lose the weight and feel and look better.

Do it Today Attitude
. Going to cut myself a little more slack on things and not get so stressed trying to do it all in one day.  I’m way too hard on myself about so many things.  Most things can wait until tomorrow, not everything needs to get done in one day.

. Need to learn to lighten up a little and laugh more.  Try to surround myself around people who enjoy life and laugh often and less around people who bring me down.  I need to find ways to make my kids laugh more every day.  After all, life doesn’t have to be so serious all the time; it can be fun and full of laughter.

Not finding Joy and Peace
. I need to learn that through finding and having joy in my life it can overcome problems that seem to be impossible to overcome and do things that people would never believe I can do.  As Joyce Meyers said “We can be defeated only if we lose our joy”.  In 1 Thessalonians 5:16 it says “be joyful always”.  The Lord wants us to have joy, he lifts us up and he does it through the joy of the Lord is our strength.  Check out and read the book by Joyce Meyers about “Seven Things that Steal Your Joy” it will help you get joy back in your life and keep it in your life.

Taking things for Granted
.  I need to be more appreciative of all I have and not be sad about the things I don’t have or can’t get.  In Philippians 4:11 it says “Not that I am implying that I was in any personal want, for I have learned how to be content (satisfied to the point where I am not disturbed or disquieted in whatever state I am)”.  God wants us to have blessings but in order to receive them we need to put God first in our lives! In Matthew 6:33 it says “will give them to you if you give him first place in your life and live as he wants you to live”.

Lastly, we all need to be determined to want to enjoy life to the fullest, all of life, every day of life. That’s my plan for this year.  I leave you with this scripture that really spoke to me about all of these things that I want to stop for the New Year in which really encouraged me.  I hope it inspires you to make your own list.

Lean on, Trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all of your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know recognize and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plan your paths.  Be not wise in your own eyes reverently fear and worship the Lord and turn (entirely) away from evil. It shall be health to your nerves and sinews, and marrow and moistening to your bones.  Proverbs 3:5-8

So be determined to enjoy your life to the fullest after all we only have one life to live, make it count for something.

Joyce Meyers (2004). Seven Things that Steal Your Joy. Overcoming the obstacles to your happiness. Time Warner Book Group.


  1. God is greater than everything else going on. And He wants to do such a work in each of our lives - if we would just let Him....

  2. All of these are good goals. Don't be too hard on yourself. One step at a time.

  3. The illusion of control is really a stickler for me. I agree on how to live fully!
    Carol Cassara

  4. This is a list we all need! You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others so please take time for you! BTW - I don't see you putting a lot on Facebook.

  5. This is a great list to work on. I like the comment about Facebook as your coworker. LOL. That's pretty accurate for me too. Be kind to yourself mama or nobody else will be.

  6. This list is great advise for any parent. Some listed are things i really need tow ork on. Thanks for the reminder.

  7. Love your list of goals! I totally can use all of these in my life to work on.

  8. You have a great list of goals to work on and several of them I can definitely relate to. I too really want to work on not putting myself last always and also not taking things for granted!

  9. Ha, I'm a Type A personality so I definitely have issues w/ letting go of control + trying to be perfect :).

  10. I've been listening to "Year of Yes" by Shonda Rhimes, the creator of "Grey's Anatomy" and "Scandal." She started saying "yes" to things, and so many aspects of her life started changing for the better. Your goal to say yes more made me think of it. You might want to check it out!

  11. Great reminders, I am constantly putting myself last and it has actually affected my family's life negatively too because I am constantly in a bad mood.

  12. This is a great list. I need to work on putting myself first so I can take care of my family better.

  13. This is a beautiful list! Some of the things the girls want me to watch I have zero interest in, but I try to make a point of doing it. Also, it's so hard to let go, but sometimes it's necessary for your sanity.

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