Monday, October 5, 2015

1:1 Time

step family, blended family, stepdaughter, stepmom, step mother, parenting
Invest your time with your stepdaughter.  Meaning go out and do things with her 1:1. But only do it if she’s already doing 1:1 things with her father.  It’s important that 1:1 time is spent with her father first on occasion before you do 1:1 things with her. I started spending time with my stepdaughter 1:1 here and there. I didn’t do it a lot but when I did I saw little changes in the way she would act towards me.  I felt the trust was building up between the two of us.  Do things with her that interest her or try something new with her.  Here’s what I did one day, we went out together and got our nails done together.  Then one time we went shopping together at the mall and got lunch together. I even took her out once to get a card for her Mom’s birthday. We even went shopping for Christmas or Birthday presents for her Dad.  There were a lot of occasions where she helped me cook dinner and learned how to cook something that was a family recipe or we did a lot of baking together which I truly believe she enjoyed doing too.  Almost every time I left the house to the store for something she asked to go with me, which was very nice, I really enjoyed our time together even if it was just running errands together.  There were a lot of times that she would come over on her nonscheduled time to help decorate or organize an event that I am hosting too.  I don’t know how she was able to come over, but she managed to have her mother agree to it.  The best thing is when she would open up to me and tell me things that were going on in her life with her Mom and her side of the family.  There were times I felt so close to her, that she would let me in more in her life.  Then there were times I felt her pull away from me too.  I think she would pull away because of her mother and felt guilty because she was enjoying time with me.  Even one time when we were out and about, a lady told us we looked alike, which was such an awesome compliment.  We even had girls’ days where my stepdaughter and my two daughters would spend the day together doing something fun like shopping at the mall and then would go out to lunch together while my husband spent 1:1 time with my stepson.  I think she will always remember those times and have some good memories. 
Do you do things 1:1 with your stepchildren? If so, what places have you gone with them?

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