Friday, October 2, 2015

Tattle Phone

tattle phone, tattling, step family, blended family, step parenting, parenting, step mom
My stepdaughter got her first phone from the ex-wife when she was 11 years old.  The first few years of her having a phone were awful.  Only because any and everytime she was not happy with something we did or said, she would call or text her Mom and let her know.  Then my husband would get a phone with the ex-wife and she would lecture or tell him what to do in order to make my stepdaughter happy again. The first incident was when my stepdaughter didn’t like whatever my daughter’s response was to her, she hit my daughter and then we found out about it and sent her to her room and then of course she tattled to her mother about it and got her involved and, of course, my stepdaughter was never in the wrong for her actions. Over and over things would happen and the ex-wife would call my husband and they would have a huge disagreement on the phone.  Then when he would get off of the phone with her, my stepdaughter would conveniently get out of her room without having to apologize for whatever she did wrong to my daughters.  It was awful for me and a losing battle because I wanted my husband to tell his stepdaughter she wasn’t allowed to bring her phone here anymore. He did tell his ex-wife a few times to stay out of our business, but it was never enough.  
What happens at our house should stay at our house meaning when the kids misbehave, we should be able to discipline them the way we want. We shouldn't have to console his ex-wife about any bad behavior.  Finally, he put his foot down after another incident and told her she wasn’t allowed to bring her phone over, but then she would sometimes sneak it over the house anyways.  
After a while of the phone calls and such finally it all stopped which I was really grateful for. Eventually, she outgrew the need to call or text her Mother after any little thing. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t against her talking to her mother while she was here at our house but not to be a tattle teller and get jail free card.  My husband’s phone works fine if she were to use it to call and talk to her Mother.  But this wasn’t the case she just only wanted to call her mother to get her out of punishment and it always worked in her favor.  She would even call her to ask her to pick her up and that she wanted to go home and once we did take her home early.  Finally after a while the ex-wife would tell her No to come home early. 
At what age do you think a child should get a cellphoneMy thoughts and views on the age would be between the ages of 13-14 years old. I just feel they are more responsible around that age to handle having their own cell phone especially considering how expensive cell phones are.  I wouldn’t be getting them the latest and most expensive cell phone right off the bat either. Just because I want to make sure they can handle having their own phone and that they don’t lose it, break or crack the phone easily either. At least this is what I plan to do with my daughters when they turn 13 years old.

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